The following messages of condolence and symbols
have been added in memory of Pamela.

I am very sad to hear of the passing of your beautiful Mum. I have not seen her for a year but I saw her every 6 weeks for almost the last 10 years looking after her feet. She was so proud of all her family and spoke of you all at every visit. I missed our regular visits once it was too hard for her to come to me. She was a very sweet women who I know will be greatly missed by you all.

Three weeks ago I lost one of the most beautiful souls in my life....

How does one continue when that someone who has been there for you without question, with immeasurable love, for every single day of your entire life, is suddenly gone, never to return. All of a sudden, you are in a parallel universe, where everything looks the same, but everything feels different.
Where I can walk through her house and garden but she is not there, like her house is some kind of shadow world left behind. All the things she chose to be her safe place in the world are still there exactly the same, but she is not.

Losing one of your core people is a deep and fundamental loss, and it changes you forever. The world just feels wrong. They say time heals all wounds but we know there is more to it than that. I guess time is the only thing which helps the brain get used to the new reality without the shock each morning on waking, stabbing you in the heart. No matter how much time passes though.., the heart will never forget the love.

A true earth mother, Mum was the one who always had my back, without question. Her genuine kindness and compassion were the main guiding light in our family, she was always our family matriarch. She was wise in her advice from many years of hard won experiences.

Mum had so many adventures and chapters in her 84 years, so many stories to tell...

For example,1956 was a big year. Mum grew up in a St Johns Ambulance household and at the age of 16 she attended on duty every day of the Melbourne Olympic Games. The same year she attended secretarial skills at Melbourne Tech College and was one of the first people to act on TV where they were teaching television engineering and closed circuit TV. That year she also saw her brother Barry’s good friend Ivan Fox off on a ship named The Kista Dan at Port Melbourne where he spent a full year on Macquarie Island halfway to Antarctica, then returned and became her husband and our family began.

In the 60’s she snuck out of work at lunchtimes to protest the Vietnam War, she burned her bra in protests for womans rights, and she had two daughters. In the ‘70s she learnt to shoot rifles on the farm in Yass, and won pistol shooting competition against the men, zoomed about the farm on her motorbike, and was vibrant and sexy and vivacious.

In the 80’s mum one of the first people I knew to get a computer. She had moved house and states so many times by the late 1980’s she built her own mud brick house in Marysville with her own 2 hands. She was already so brave, on her own by then, after two marriages. I remember her house very well, that feeling of driving up the road, the strong smell of mountain ash eycalypts in the air, stars brilliant in the dark blue sky, the lights on at the porch, a smiling welcome with a big hug, walking into her warm beautiful solid mud brick house, smelling of flowers, beautiful music playing softly, into the peace and safety and sanctity of a true home.

The 2000's were difficult ones, when she was diagnosed with cancer and beat 98% odds of not making it to remission 5 years later.. But she was forever disabled with a paralysed leg and ongoing pain including nerve shocks which happened frequently and without warning. Determined to remain independant, Mum learnt to drive again, using only her left foot in a modified car. Then came the "lucky break" when she snapped a femur in two on the same paralysed leg, and stayed in hospital for 6 months learning to walk all over again. This probably saved her life as while in hospital her entire world burnt to the ground in the Black Saturday fires, losing her beloved home, friends, her town of Marysville.. Ongoing pain and disability both physical and emotional haunted her days ever since then, but she tried every day to see the good, and inspired everyone around her to do the same.

She loved forests, waterfalls and frogs. Lilacs, lavender and lemons. Fresh mountain air with the scent of gum leaves, the colours purple and teal, art nouveau, all things Celtic. Music that got you dancing - Enya, Russell Morris, Glen Miller. Genealogy. Rambling gardens, simple cottage homes, Butterflies and Dragonflies. Fish and chips at the beach. Swiming in the sea. Being a mother, grandmother and great grandmother.

Smart, organised, modest, brave, wise, kind... Our family are now changed forever by her loss.

My sister and I had to let her go despite the incredible emotional pain it brought us, but watching her fade over her last week was the hardest we've faced in our lives. Even as an adult she was always where I felt the safest, the most loved. I wish I could have done more for her, but I was thankful to spend the past 3 months in and out of her life on a regular basis, just hanging out and being in her company.

I want to say a special thank you to all the friends and family who took the time to visit her in Torquay in the past few years, it really meant the world to her. And also, thank you so much to those who cared for her health so she could stay in her own home until the end. Being able to stay in her own beautiful house and garden was fundamental to mums health both physical and mental, and the care and consideration she received is so very much appreciated.

The future is always uncertain for all of us in this life, and now Suzi and I, 4 grandkids and one beautiful baby great grandson, numerous family and friends…, we must all go forwards without her. I will try and do the best I can without her guidance and love a mere phone call or short drive away. Because she inspired us all to embrace the beauty of the world, and live a good life with bravery and passion! I know her love is eternal. And I hope we will meet again in another life, in another time...
I miss you mum, I will love you always.

Happy memories of Pam.
Lovely service today, we were there with you.

Sending all my love and thoughts to the whole family. Lots of love Tarsh

Sending my love to you all.
Pam was such an inspiring woman, I have much admiration for her strength, vibrant unique character and kindness. I felt such a close connection to Pam and will miss her wisdom.
We shared many conversations about our family history which I will hold dear.
Rest in peace Pam, we will speak of you often remembering the history you taught us and your wonderful life.
With much love
Tania

Sad days for us all who knew, loved and admired our beautiful cousin and friend for her courage in facing and dealing with devastating adversity. But especially, for her happy and warm approach to life. She became a good friend to Bronnie who shared her passion for genealogy, and they had many warm conversations with lots of laughter. Valè Pam, with love.

Dear Suzi, Min & Families,
Our deepest sympathy to you all at the loss of your lovely mother and grandmother.
Farewell to my dearly loved cousin and friend, Pam. I will miss our long distance chats and laughter.
You are in our thoughts and prayers at this time.
Love Liz and Harold and Family (Canada)

To Suzi, Min and family,
My deepest sympathy to you all on the passing of your much loved Mother and Grandmother.
Pam was one of nature's gentle women and will be always in your hearts
Sending love to you all,
Lynne Grainger (nee Dean)

A lovely aunt to me and Mal, Pam was a brave survivor of several traumatic events that shaped her adult life but she just got on with things. As a custodian of our family history and amateur genealogist she researched over many years to enable documentation of the background of the Dean clan. The measure of her courage and determination was demonstrated when she decided to control her exit from this life to the extent that she was able. And so the family matriarch bows out and she will be missed. Brad x